One Small Kind Act Can Have A Huge Impact
I haven't been doing very well lately and was really at the point of just quitting, after all Im not winning this battle and I just can't seem to win. Ive lost 15 lbs (so not all bad) just out of no desire to eat, to get up or to get dressed. I decided to do Spring Break with my daughter because I wanted her to have a good memory of me thinking this might be the last one. The week before I fainted, lost consciousness and hit my face on the counter leaving me with a road rash type of abrasion that was actually pretty substancial. Funny, I was more upset about the mark on my face then the fact that I lost consciousness, my priorities may be a bit off. So to say the least I was not in a good place and not looking forward to this trip at all. Then the day I am getting ready to leave for the airport I get a package from a woman I went to High School with. We didn't know each other in High School, she was very popular and I was not but through facebook, reunions we have connected. This simple gesture actually changed the course of my vacation as if it were a sign that I needed to remember to be present.
Ive been so focused on what could happen that I've forgotten to be present in my life which is really the key to enjoying life. The cab was on the way and I forgot to get a book, in the big picture of life not a big deal but adding up everything else it was bigger deal than it should have been. In this package was the ahhh sunshining from above perfect vacation book, as if a higher power had intervene, (now that is dramatic). A Starbucks gift card, I was so tired unable to sleep the night before so coffee with an extra shot, yes please and a beautiful card reminding me that this is not who I am. I'm not this broken, beaten up quitter that I have been playing all winter and here this woman, Jenny a girl I wasn't even friends with in High School, that really doesn't know me and she is the one that gives me my wake up call. She may not ever fully realize how that one small kind act had such a huge impact on my life and ultimately on my daughter as well.
Being present, what this means is to be in the now not yesterday's failures or tomorrows fears but to just be where you are at this very moment. I have lost that and I need to get it back after all it is the key to happiness and isn't that ultimately what we all strive for, happiness? So yeah I fainted, hit my face and I've been using my cane more often but I was getting ready to fly to Miami to spend 7 nights on a cruise. I can't fix what happened, I can't predict or stop the future but today, today is the only thing I can control. Maybe it's not the best day, maybe it's the worst day of your life remember 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life until tomorrow, than tomorrow is the first day'. Life is a crazy roller coaster ride full of ups, downs and scary turns so hold on sooner or later you will be back on the up side of the ride.
For Jenny Waters Grunow, a beautiful woman but more impotantly a beautiful person.