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I Blame Beatrix Ost

I Blame It On Beatrix Ost

Here I am 45, disabled, home bound and my daughter is graduating high school, feeling a little like my best days are behind me. What to do? I know, I need a fuck it moment, a big middle finger to society, to the rules of being of being 45. So why not dye my hair pink? It's not like I have a job or a PTA meeting, so there is no real reason that I can't do it. One of my style icon's of today is a woman that loves life, she isn't living by anyone's rules but her own. She is redefining aging and most definitely isn't willing to blend into the wallpaper, she is the truly stylish Beatrix Ost so why not take a page out of her book and dye my hair pink?

Who makes up these ridiculous rules? Who decided how we are suppose to behave, look and act? One of the best things about being a teenager, probably the only best thing, was the ability to have those fuck it moments. The right to push boundaries and rebel against what society (aka parents) thought they should be. We turn 25 and are told that we can't do that anymore, that we need to conform. If you look through street style fashion from Paris Fashion Week you will see women of a certain age that are breaking those rules, that are no longer content with being in the background. One of the pioneers of this trend as well as one of my favorite living Style Icons is Beatrix Ost and she isn't pushing the boundaries that society has created but she is taking a wrecking ball to them and she is doing it fabulously.

She doesn't follow the rules, she doesn't look like the image we are sold a 76 year old woman should be. We have just believed that you were suppose to fade into the back ground, that the best days of your life are gone and we are supposed to let the younger people take the stage. That the spot light was for them and your time to shine was over, think about that for a minute......... The truth is we spend most of our lives being older and our best days are over? Fuck that, if this is all I have left I want to just be put 6 feet under now. All I have left is this for the rest of my life?

Well that doesn't work for me so off to Amazon I go. I order my hair bleaching kit and hair color. which I will have to mix myself (Candy Pink, Brick Red and Pastelizer) to create the rose quartz, pantone color of the year. Two days later it arrives so I make my plan but I start to have second thoughts. What if I hate it, what if I look stupid and then I remember this is my fuck it moment so who cares, after all it is just hair. The night before I put coconut oil in my hair, I read that putting coconut oil in your hair the night before and leaving it on when you apply the bleach will protect the integrity of your hair. It worked, my hair was soft and shiny after the lightening process, no straw feeling.

I start to get a pang of, OMG what the fuck am I doing but it's too late now. I guess I could have stopped but I need to do this, I need to channel my inner Beatrix. I can't just be Carrie, the sad pathetic disabled, sick, useless and beyond her prime blob that spends her days swimming in her shit life waiting to die. I need to be Carrie with pink hair, that wears red lipstick in the middle of the day with no place to go with her cup of tea and electric blanket. I need to feel fabulous and I need to give life a big fuck you. I need to show life that you will not beat me, that I will rebel, that I won't just give RSD the majority of my life. I will find a way to be happy in spite of life and I will break all of the rules just like Beatrix Ost.

Side note:

I have already mapped out my next color which will be a more smoky strawberry/pink and so you know it has made me feel fearless. It has given me that extra push to move forward in life and I don't regret it at all!!!!

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Sometimes you just have to say fuck it!!!!
, 05/17/2016

I could never do that!! Maybe I should be able to.
, 05/18/2016